dubiouslog

I’ve been feeling really depressed as of lately. My housemates won’t let me use the table, so I cannot draw nothing but sketches on my legs, which means that I cannot make illustrations for school, which means that I’m behind with my classes, which means that I’m getting more and more worried. I really tried to draw on my legs, but my back acts up after about thirty minutes. I need to buy a foldable table, but I also need help to carry it home, and people is busy, not their fault.

I don’t want to be with my housemates anymore, they won’t understand that being sociophobic is not something I can overcome by just being with people, and even like this I’m not the talkative type anyway. They think I’m just being an asshole to them while I just don’t find anything to talk about with them. Plus, I don’t want to be in the same room with them because they’re always smoking, doing drugs or cooking smelly stuff. Strong smells make me sick. I need to move alone, but this takes time. Plus the laptop is still under repair so I can’t work on websites or talk with friends as often as I want, and without a computer I can’t look for houses either.

Plus I won’t be able to see Jacopo for another two weeks. :<

BUT BUT BUT

the ep with Volkner and Flint has been announced for February 25 and I’M SO HAPPY
I just want to see them together doing stuff and teasing each other and I want to hear their voices and asfghjkasdl
The best part is that I know that even if I find them to be a bit different from how I imagine them to be I’m not going to be disappointed :D I just have fun shipping them and love their characters, that’s it

This also comes at just the right time, since I was already planning to make a shrine for them. It’s about a whole year I’ve been wanting to make a website about them and I’ve been working on it behind the scenes, but I was never satisfied with the result. It never seemed to live up to my expectations, yet I wanted to make something for them SO badly. After all, they are the only shipping I ever supported.
Then there was something that gave me the kick I needed to get started and finish everything with a strict deadline…which happens to fall after February 25, so I’ll have enough time to make the layout with a screencap from the episode and put a screencap gallery online and and and 8D

Talking about shrines, I’ve been playing Riviera: The Promised Land again. The idea was to write down Serene’s lines and make a shrine to her, but while I was playing I discovered that my favorite character in that game is really Malice. So…expect something about her in the near future. She really is a very interesting character.
The website will be named “No Future” and the layout will use this wonderful artwork of her. I still have to decide if I want this website to be a shrine or a fanlisting plus shrine.

Have a meme. Stolen from Irene, but since she skipped some questions I looked for the original and answered to some of the ones she left out, then followed her template, then got bored.

(more…)

HARD DISK BUSTED
AGAIN

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

luckily this time I didn’t lose anything valuable since I had a few backups here and there, but this doesn’t make it any less annoying. I’ve spent these last few days drawing, painting and trying to spend as much time with people as possible. I feel like a Sim with the sociality and entertainment bars near zero struggling to not go crazy :<

so I won’t be around for a week or two.

Today I saw VG again after all these months. I was looking forward to this day with excitement. I’m very happy to be with him again.
However, this is not what this entry is about.

After he left in train, I was to take the subway home. I was getting down the stairs when, about ten metres away from me, I saw a man tripping on an elderly beggar. The latter fell over and since he looked rather fragile I thought he could have gotten something broken, but then the man who tripped on him refused to help him and began yelling all sorts of obscenities, basically calling the beggar a human scum and a waste of existence. The thing went on for at least a few minutes, then the elder tried to defend himself saying he would have called the police or something, at which the other replied threatening him; then he went away.

As for me, I was frozen there for the whole time. I would have really said something to that horrible person, but what if he turned violent? I was feeling weak for all the walking and the hot weather, and that man was twice my size. I feel a bit angry for not being able to do anything useful, but I keep telling myself that after all it’s not my fault if I wasn’t feeling good; were I in my usual shape, I would have had nothing to fear. I expected someone else to defend the beggar, but all the other people kept walking like nothing was happening - if something, they were speeding up. No one else seemed to care.

And this may feel like a rhetorical question, but seriously: what’s wrong with people? Seriously.

Hard disk is broken, and the only way to get my data back would be paying a boat of money. So I’ll have to buy a new one and in the meanwhile use VG’s computer.

Luckily most of my data was on my domains so I already got back the important stuff, but I lost forever the large versions of my computer-colored drawings, a review for that videogame site I’m going to open, the fansubs in progress and all those logs and stuff from ages ago, and we’re talking about 2003 here. How wonderful. Luckily, the last thing I did with my laptop was sending a copy of the exam I was writing to Cercatesori, it would have been a lot worse if that didn’t happen, but anyway. The loss of the review still bugs me very much. My only hope is that Cercatesori has got the log in which I sent him its first part, but I’ll anyway have to write the second part all over again.
I may have a backup from 2007 somewhere at my parents’ which would allow me to get back most of the old stuff, but I’ll have to wait until April to know. I could also find someone who’ll get the data back from the hard disk for a lower price, but I don’t know.

Thanks goodness that I wasn’t working on a layout or something like that, that would have seriously sucked.

About the fansub, while doing the translations for Myuutsuu no Gyakushuu I’ve discovered some very interesting things. Now I don’t really have the time to write everything down, but to sum it up the translated scripts you can find on the web have some major differences from the actual script, so if my intention was to only do the Italian fansub because I thought the ones the English ones other people made were already enough, now I’m willing to do the fansub in both Italian and English. Denise, I’m looking at you. :)

now I only have to wait for that hard disk, dammit.